I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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