I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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