look no pants
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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