I hate your face
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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