the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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