okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize