So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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