I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
