I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
