I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
