You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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