you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize