Pants 0. Shit 1.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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