So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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