Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
