My hair reeks of homosexuality.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize