She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
