She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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