I didn't shave. On purpose
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
this is an emotional support booty call
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
