A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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