I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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