kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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