he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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