She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
