Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
