just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
