So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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