I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
