so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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