dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
