dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
