Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Alive.
So much puke
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
