he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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