That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
this hospital has no fireball
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
