whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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