Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
