The maid of honor just puked.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
