ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
