Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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