Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
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I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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