dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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