just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
