haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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