need another drink. this is the easiest way
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
