hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
