question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize