so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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