Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
