I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
