In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Fuck appropriateness.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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