We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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