am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He has the fingertips of a God
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