I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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