I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
