the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
