So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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