Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
