I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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