My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
