party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
