I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
